thank heavens this isn’t a video blog

So, Brian is convinced as of late that I have a failed adrenal gland, because I’ve been unnaturally fatigued and very low-energy. I’ve been maintaining that it’s the fact that I get about six hours of sleep a night if I’m lucky, but he has kept insisting that it’s more chemical. Last night he looked up a bunch of medical websites and I have to admit that it sounds likely that that is in fact my problem.

Symptoms of a failed adrenal gland include:

1. extreme fatigue
2. increased moodiness
3. cravings for sweets and simple carbohydrates
4. weight gain (sigh)
5. frequently feeling cold
6. feeling depressed or ‘not oneself’

Um, yeah that pretty much describes me in the past few months. Causes of failed adrenal glands are usually periods of increased and prolonged physical, mental, or emotional stress. Oh, that’s me too.

So now I need to find myself a women’s formula multi-vitamin, and start exercising regularly. I have for sure been planning to start working out, especially because now we live in an apartment building with a 24-hour fitness center, but my eyes are preventing me from doing so right now.

Oh right, this is the post where I tell you all that my body is completely falling apart. I didn’t warn you before, but I’m warning you now.

For over a month now, I’ve been having this really inconvenient and annoying eye irritation. Basically itchy, watery eye which I attributed to a number of environmental allergies. I discontinued the use of my contacts, which basically rendered me unable to comfortably ride my bike, or engage in any sort of physical activity. I saw an eye doctor who gave me allergy drops, but after a few days they began to sting horribly and make my eyes water MORE, so I stopped using them. I was too busy to even think about making another appointment until this week – in the meantime, this past weekend it totally flared up to the point where my eyes were horrifically red and puffy and I felt like a leper. It wasn’t as bad as The Great Eye Infection of 2007 (and part two), but I could feel it getting there. Some tears were shed.

To top it all off, my face decided it was going to break out – not in acne, but in dry, itchy, red, flaky blotches on my nose and the surrounding skin. FABULOUS. I basically did not want to show my face in public, or really even to Brian. He insisted that I was still just as beautiful, but I get the feeling that he was only saying that so I didn’t claw his face off so it would match mine.

And then, I guess my arms and back got really jealous of the field day my face was having, because I suddenly broke out in the worst case of dry skin/hives/eczema I’ve had in YEARS. I could not remember being so itchy – not since I was a child and made my mom scratch my back until I bled. Since my mom isn’t here, I took it into my own hands to make myself bleed.

So imagine this chick walking around the supermarket. She’s wearing thick glasses but you can tell through them that her eyes are totally bloodshot, and her face is red and peeling. She rolls up her sleeve for a minute, maybe to grab some produce, and you almost puke because her arm sports all these red, swollen welts and scabs. OMG! Is she TOUCHING EVERY CARROT?! You are definitely not buying carrots today lest you catch her debilitating disease.

Yeah, that chick was me. People routinely ran away from me screaming this weekend. I consider myself very lucky that my school is on spring break this week so I can safely hide from the masses.

OKAY OKAY no one ran away screaming, but it was pretty bad. My face is getting better, and I saw the eye doctor yesterday who diagnosed me with having ‘inflammatory reactions to irritants in response to an allergic reaction’ and gave me a combination anti-inflammatory and antibiotic eyedrop that I need to administer 4 times a day for a week. Then I go back and see him and if everything is looking better, I’ll reduce to 3 times a day, for a week. Then 2 times a day, then once a day. THEN FINALLY if it’s ‘quieted’ (his term) he will fit me for new contacts.

Sigh. I’m relieved that the drops do seem to be working, and I’ve gotten myself some anti-itch calming lotion and body wash, and Brian has forced me to slather Badger Balm all over my face every chance he gets… so hopefully sometime in the next few weeks I will emerge a new woman. Or, the same woman I was before my whole body up and failed on me.

I would have taken pics to show you… but… are you kidding me?! I barely want to go to Walgreens, let alone post up pics of my monstrosities for the whole Internet to see.